


i am too weak to be your cure

by endlessnighttimesky



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Mild Angst, Temporary Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1741916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessnighttimesky/pseuds/endlessnighttimesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank's voice is quiet, hesitant, when he says, "We need to take a break, Gerard."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i am too weak to be your cure

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _Guernica_ by Brand New.

Frank decides to break the news to Gerard on one of the few occasions that he's not drunk, or high, or both. He’s hungover, instead, and probably texting his dealer, but he's not wasted or tripping, and considering the past few months, that's probably the closest to sober Gerard is going to get until someone drags him through the front door of a recovery clinic.

Frank's voice is quiet, hesitant, when he says, "We need to take a break, Gerard."

Gerard hears him the first time, but still can't keep himself from asking, "What?" It's the automatic response, because he doesn't understand what Frank's saying. He _heard_ , but he doesn’t _understand_. (Or maybe he does. Just doesn’t _want_ to. Doesn’t want to deal with anything, only wants his next hit. He’d be ashamed, if he cared enough.)

"I can't deal with this anymore," Frank goes on, avoiding Gerard's confused gaze and rubbing over the red letters wrapping around his wrist. He really wants his wish to come true right now.

"You mean you can't deal with me," Gerard says. He doesn't look too surprised.

"Not when you're like this," Frank says, voice clearer now, stronger. "I can deal with you when you're depressed, or when you're drunk, or high, but I can't deal with everything at once. I wish I could, but I can't."

"I wish _I_  could deal with me," Gerard mumbles.

"And you _can_ ," Frank says, finally lifting his head to look at Gerard. "You just need some help."

"A lot of help," Gerard corrects.

"A lot of help," Frank agrees, because - well, yeah. "And I'm not leaving you, I just - "

"Need a break," Gerard fills in.

Frank nods. "It's not forever. Just - you need to get better. And this might make it seem like I want you to get better for me, but you need to get better for yourself. You deserve more than this, Gee."

"I'm not always so sure I do," Gerard says, because he usually doesn't. If he did, he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

"But you do," Frank says, scooting closer on the couch to curl up beside Gerard, resting his head on his shoulder. "You do."

Bringing his hand up to his mouth, Gerard bites at his thumbnail, thinking. "You said - you said it wasn't gonna be forever."

"And it won't be," Frank says, rubbing his cheek against the warm fabric of Gerard's hoodie. "I just need to go away for a while, and so do you."

"And we can't go together?"

"No," Frank says. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Gerard says. "I get it."

"Yeah?"

Gerard nods. "Yeah. Where are you going to stay?"

"Ray said I could stay with him. Bob, too, if Ray gets tired of me.”

”Do you think it’ll take that long?”

"That's up to you," Frank says, intertwining his fingers with Gerard's clammy ones. "I'll be waiting. Just - somewhere else."

"Mikey wants me to stay with him," Gerard says. "If I don't go to. To - "

"Rehab," Frank fills in.

Gerard tips his head back, blinking tears away from his eyes as he laughs sadly. "I can't even say it."

"You don't need to be able to say it to do it," Frank says, squeezing his boyfriend's hand. If that’s even - no. Gerard is still his boyfriend. Will be until the day they might decide to be something more than that. But for now, this is enough. They’re just going to take a break from each other for a while. Frank hopes it turns out better than it did on _Friends_.

"I want to do it," Gerard says. "I want to get better."

"I know you do, baby," Frank says, and maybe calling Gerard that isn't going to make this any easier, but it's been so long that he doesn't really think about it anymore.

"I love you," Gerard says, twisting his neck to press a kiss to the top of Frank's head. ”Even - even now. I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but I do.”

”I love you, too,” Frank mumbles into Gerard’s t-shirt. ”Even now.”

"I'm going to get better," Gerard continues, rubbing his thumb over the back of Frank's hand.

"You are," Frank says, mouthing at Gerard's neck, pressing tiny kisses to the soft skin there. He’s going to put a mark there later, something for Gerard to remember him by. ”I believe in you.”

”Yeah?” Gerard sounds hopeful for the first time in longer than Frank can remember. It makes him feel warm inside.

”Yeah,” Frank confirms, because he believes in Gerard. Always has, always will. It’s just a matter of getting Gerard to do the same.


End file.
